Feminism needs a makeover

The Chicks on the Right link to an article about some very misguided Australian college co-eds who attempt to fight the patriarchy and objectification of women by photographing their private parts and putting eighteen of those photos on the cover of a magazine.  (In related news, a town has vowed to eliminate underage alcohol consumption by replacing school lunch milk with shots of tequila.)

Here is the NSFW article.  Here is the lame justification for the attention-grabbing stunt:

“Depictions of female genitalia in culture provide unrealistic images that most women are unable to live up to. [….] We want to feel normal; we don’t want to feel fearful when we have a first sexual encounter with a partner who may judge us because of our vaginas.”

There’s a lot of things I could talk about here – how the very same women who complain when men view them as sex organs shoot photos of their disembodied sex organs – but there’s a foundational issue that needs to be addressed.

Excuse me, but  in what alternate universe do normal women actually worry that their naked bodies do not measure up to “[d]epictions of female genitalia in culture” – and, speaking of which, what culture regularly exhibits female genitalia? 

If I were in bed with some dude who thought that my naked body did not measure up to porn, there are loads of things I would do, like grab his schlong between my thumb and index finger and ask him, Mr. Turkey Gizzards, who he is to judge.  Or perhaps I would knee him in said schlong and tell him to find a new girlfriend.  What I would not do is to have relations with any male who does not think that my body is a work of art to be worshipped.  (I also wouldn’t be physical with a man who doesn’t love me, but more on that below.)

Yet these “empowered feminists” are worried that men won’t find their private parts to be acceptable.  Chickies, you wouldn’t know empowerment if it photographed itself 18 times and put itself on the front of your campus magazine.

I can’t wrap my mind around the sheer amount of therapy needed by a woman who would sleep with a man who mocked her body, and conclude that the problem is a need for cultural awareness about normal female genitalia.  That’s like falling for a Nigerian email scam and then complaining that the underlying issue is a lack of federal funding for third-world nations.  It involves such a staggering lack of self-respect that this whole ‘awareness’ thing must be a passive-aggressive way of getting other women to be just as insecure as these faux-feminists are. It would never occur to a normal woman to even think that men have standards of labial beauty that she may not live up to.

The foundational issue here is the way that these women conduct their own sex lives.   If you’re only physically intimate with men who love you very deeply, then you’re not going to worry about being ‘judged’ by how your private parts compare  to porn.  (Even if they were into porn, gentlemen wouldn’t be mean about it to the women they love; they would just be happy to see that particular woman’s naked body in their own bed.  You know how old people who have been married forever gaze at each other’s aging faces with so much love?  Kind of like that.)

This faux-feminist psychodrama, on the other hand, only comes from having been screwed by a bunch of men who don’t give a rat’s patootie about you.  Have all the empowered, no-strings-attached sex you want, fauxminists, but it looks like you care a lot more about him – and his porn-driven opinion of your naked body – than he does about you.  Risque magazine covers aren’t going to change that, and frankly, are only going to make it worse.

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3 Comments

Filed under Academia, Miscellanea

3 responses to “Feminism needs a makeover

  1. Pingback: Da Tech Guy On DaRadio Blog » Blog Archive » The Culture Wars, Mika Brzezinski, Miley Cyrus and Kate Hunt

  2. Pingback: Da Tech Guy On DaRadio Blog » Blog Archive » Miley Cyrus a Modern 17th Century Girl?

  3. Ike

    I don’t know about all the feminist jargon, but speaking as an old man married to the woman who loves him and whom he loves for 46 years, you’re quite on target about what men think of women’s private parts. The love of my life, not some bit of anatomy. Poor poor foolish people to deprive themselves of a lifetime of love, affection, respect and joy for some political abstraction.

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