I really wanted to be sympathetic

A young woman took to Salon.com to write about the trials and tribulations of her dating life. (Hat tip.) As a woman who once joined eHarmony for the sole purpose of collecting stories of all the whack jobs I met on there (ever been messaged by a man whose profile picture is him with a bomb strapped to his chest? asked by a man you’ve never met “When you finally get into the bedroom, are you a wild tiger or just an uptight mathematician?”), I know how hard modern dating is.

But this young lady’s complaints were amazingly shallow and incredibly counter-productive.  The gist of her dissatisfaction is that computer scientists are boring men who make good salaries. She actually wrote that she missed creative dates with artists and writers.  Now, I’m all for not being a materialistic brat when you’re dating, but there is the adage “It’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.” She also suffers from the bane of every commitment-minded progressive woman in America: the only men they really want to date are those who think that courtship, commitment, and  marriage are outdated, and most of the men who want something serious are far too right-wing (or even moderate) for their tastes.

While she also had a semi-valid complaint that the men only talked about their jobs on their dates, that’s entirely expected when a person with a demanding career moves to a new city.  The only thing that they have going on in their lives is their job – a situation that she can help remedy by suggesting that they meet at an art or science museum, tour the Space Needle, or join a kickball league.

Ultimately, her problems seem to not be with the influx of college-educated, commitment-minded men with stable careers; it seems to be with her. Again, I really wanted to be sympathetic, but if you refuse to date a man because he’s not “exciting” enough and is proud of having a good career, don’t come crying to us when your love life turns out exactly as expected.

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