Title of article from Business Insider: “A Bunch Of New York Women Paid To Go To Silicon Valley To Find Millionaires And Ended Up In Tears.” You can read the whole thing if you want, but you can guess from the title – the first clause alone – how it ended up.
I’m a big believer in understanding the fundamental difference between judgement and judgemental. The former is about using reason, experience, and what you know of the world to attempt to make good decisions, understanding that life is hard enough already without a bunch of self-imposed inanity making things even more difficult. The latter has various negative connotations, including run-of-the-mill sanctimony and the like. In our efforts to not be judgemental, we’ve often abandoned good judgement, that faculty that helps us to help ourselves.
Crass men, not women, are to blame for crass men, but life is easier when crass men do their crass man thing far, far away from you. Life is easier when you don’t eat pot brownies. Life is easier when you don’t buy a chance to meet a rich man, much less advertise that fact. The confluence of all those mishaps also tends to cause exponential, not linear, harm. I just don’t know who we are helping by declaring those statements to be verboten for being too judgemental – and there are sixteen women from New York with tear-stained faces and bad memories who certainly aren’t happier for the lack of guidance.