Things I learned this wedding weekend

My older sister got married this weekend.

A few pro tips: if you are leading a conga line, it’s fun to snake back and forth, but don’t turn it into a circle unless you are on the dance floor.  When you turn it into a circle at the bar area, you’re going to lose most of the guests.

Things that make great wedding gifts: china, stuff off the registry, and the track record that the bride holds in perpetuity.  (My sister held a school record in a track event that was recently retired; since she held the record on the last time the event was run, she’ll hold the record forever. Our high school has a big board up on the wall of the field house with all of the events and the record-holders’ names and times on strips of plastic.  Seven weeks before the nuptials, I managed to acquire the strip of plastic from her record.)

Incidentally, when you are making a speech and counting on your sister to recognise something from the ’90s, be prepared for a confused look and “No [I wouldn’t know that if I saw it].”  When in doubt, “Well, that’s awkward, because Mr. Velociraptor has it in his hands and we mounted it on a plaque” will do fine when your MOH speech didn’t go as planned.

When the photographer tells you to photobomb the first dance, happily oblige.  Then convince the best man that you and the other attendants really need to group-hug the couple at the end.

If you’re asked to give the bride her veil for the pictures, always get under the veil with your sister. It makes for great photography – so great, that the entire wedding party will be asked to participate in the fun.

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